You’ve Been Married How Many Years?

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I had the opportunity to do a guest post for "The Generous Wife"

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Author
Sharon Verrett

Conditioning

Conditioning is an important part of personal development. We hear people say all the time, “Work out your own soul’s salvation,” but do we and how well? 

We work and condition our minds through education, and our bodies at the gym, but we so often forget about our souls. 

To be healthy, well rounded individuals, we must condition our minds, bodies and souls.

Here are a few things to consider in the effort in working out our own soul’s salvation; 

Start by identifying yourself with God’s local congregation, one that can be found in his word. Roman 16:16

It will help you to be accountable, if you are serious. 

Secondly, never miss an opportunity to worship. Strength and edification is found in worship.

Third, don’t miss opportunities to fellowship with different people who may not look like you or any opportunity where fellowship presents itself. God sees souls and that's what will be held accountable.

 

Last, help others when you can. When we think of others more than ourselves it removes the cancer of selfishness and strengthens the entire body, spiritually and mentally. 

It is then, when we are conditioning our minds to grow spiritually and in the end that will be all that matters. Spiritual conditioning, makes it a happy Sunday.


#happysunday
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Play Your Position

To play your position could be a difficult task, if you don't know or understand the position you should be playing. 

When we sign up for a team we are assigned a position to play. Not everyone can be the quarterback. Not everyone can be the kicker.

The coach has specific positions for each player, pending their specific abilities. The coach knows their strengths and their weakness. It is then when he designs his team, knowing strength and weakness of each player, in an attempt to win the game.

You know marriage is like that, in a sense. Both, the husband and wife can't be the head or leader of the household and both can't play the same position to follow. In a marriage, someone has to be the leader, and someone has to follow. God designed it that way for the success of the marriage.

Football has its quarterback, Major business has its CEO, the United States has its President and we the people have our God, who has given our marriages a husband to head our households.

When God designed His team for marriage, He had a plan. He knew the strengths and weakness of each individual. He had all the inside information, because He designed the players. He planned the husband to head for the success of the marriage.

Read more about knowing how to play our position in Ephesians 5:22-33 the greatest playbook ever written, God's word.

Next post will be about, “What it he/she doesn’t want to play his/her position?”

Read more at www.saverrmarriage.com

#playyourposition

The Best Thing in Life is Free

The best thing in life is free? Well, a young lady and I were chatting in reference to the cost of products and service in different regions. The region where she now lives, she explained, to receive the same service was much more.

Well, I was aware of the upcharges in those regions and, like most things, it depends on the demand of the service rendered in the area. I explained to her how we could never get the people in our area to pay those prices.

We usually check, once a year with other service providers in the area to make sure that we are all pretty fair with pricing.

One year when surveying, we noted an upscale service provider was charging twice as much for the same service and using a cheaper product. It truly amazed us that people were willing to pay twice as much at the upscale location because of prestige. I asked the provider what product line where they using, as I tried to justify the cost.

I then learned, their customers were, unknowingly, receiving a lesser quality product. What was really sad, other providers like us, who weren’t as upscale used much better products and charged fifty percent less.

 

What I’ve learned is we are a name brand society. We associate labels with quality.  Is it true, “You get what you pay for?” Not in every case as stated above.

We often put our values in things that don’t really matter. The best quality is not always what we think it to be, because it cost more.

Consider refocusing our minds on our treasures and where true value really lies. They lie NOT in material items, but in the good hearts of people and good relationship. 

Place our value in God and things above. He paid the ultimate cost for our soul and in many cases, even He didn’t get what He paid for, but it was precious to Him so He gave his life to redeem our souls.

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#bestthinginlifeisfree

We can find the greatest treasure, if we choose to redeem the free gift paid for us by Jesus. The gift of everlasting life for our eternal souls is what He bought, through his death. In this, case the best thing in life is truly free, for us, because Jesus paid it for us.

Life Love and Family

Life, Love and Family

God has granted us the opportunity to experience life, love and family and there is nothing else like it!

God gave each of us life, love and then He gave us children, who have given us grandchildren.  Ohhhh... the joy of grandchildren, they are the fruits and joy of our labor. :)

This past weekend we all hung out at our grandson's first flag football game. The weather was still a bit humid from the rain the days before. Nonetheless, it was a joyous occasion, another opportunity to make many memories, for granddad and me.

Kevin and I try to stay active in their lives as much as possible. This little fellow is our ten year old. We didn't give birth to him, but he is ours.

We are among the thousands of grandparents in the United States who have the obligation of raising our grands. It can indeed be a challenge at times and it is truly a labor of love.

I was teasing my daughter this morning as we talked about children. I told her my baby boy is now twenty-six. She replied,

"No, your baby-boy is now ten." We laughed heartedly, as she brought me back to reality!

Hey, it is what it is, we shall not complain. We know what side our bread is buttered. So, we stand grateful to God for the opportunity to have him and we are thankful for the privilege to be able to live life, to experience love from so many angles, and the blessing of family.

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You Get What You Pick

I love to hear children play. They have all sorts of kid’s sayings and some can have a bit of underlined wisdom if you listen. One I've heard my grandson say in the past to the other grands is, "You get what you get and don't make a fit!" I often think of that in marriage as,” You get what you picked and don't make a fit.”

Often we, go into marriage peeping or with our eyes wide shut. We date for a minute or sometimes for a longer period, before we make the commitment to marry and are later surprised or disappointed in the mate we have chosen.

Yes, we stand disappointed. However, the person that we plan to marry will usually have shown you who they truly are within the first six months of the relationship, if we are paying attention.

 

I like what Maya Angelou said, "When a person shows you who they are, believe them." Believe them rather than trying to make excuses for them. Believe them rather than thinking you can change them later. Believe them rather than thinking they are reacting in that manner because it's your fault.

Unfortunately, if you chose to marry before that six months’ time, you may not see it until it is too late.

As women we tend to become emotionally tied quicker than men. Men are not as emotional, their moves are calculatingly and purposeful. They move with thought and reasoning, like a tiger. Our emotional sense can tell us what those calculating, purposeful thoughts and reasoning are, if we are paying attention and not overcome by our emotions.

His reason could be because he truly desire to be with you and everything he does will show that to be the case. However, within that six months frame, you notice he wants you all to himself, he doesn't want you to have any connection with your family, you have to ask yourself, "What is his purpose and is it a good time to run?"

We make the biggest mistake when we think we can change his calculated mind and purpose and an even larger mistake if we chose to marry him with the hope that he will change later.

Let us pay attention to the seriousness of marriage, choosing what we want before that big day, chose what fits in God's word.

We would never take home a pair of shoes that are two sizes too small with the intent to stretch them when we get them home, all because they look so good or you love that style, right?

Then, why marry someone whom you have no desire, with a plan to make it work later. What happens if the attempt to change him later, doesn't work? Wouldn't that be burdensome? In that case you’ll have to live with the saying of, "You get what you picked, and don't make a fit." 

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I Should Be Married

Many young ladies have a feeling that comes over them, thinking, I should be married, as they reach a certain age.

The age is unspoken, yet sometimes spoken. I can remember in my days, it was twenty-five.

If you weren't married by the age of twenty-five, you were considered an old maid. Imagine the pressure that can put on a young female.

Today, many are choosing higher education rather than marrying, what is considered early. They choose to advance in their careers and marry later somewhere in their thirties, caring less what others think.

This was part of a conversation I had with my niece today. She said I should share it, as I explained to her how marriage being such a serious commitment and one that she truly doesn't have time for at this point in her life.

Don’t misunderstand me. I love the institution of marriage and believe everyone should get married. However I am a realist. It’s not for everyone.

My niece, at this time is career driven and she has no time for herself, and definitely no time to nurture a marriage. However, she feels at this point she should be married, "I will be thirty soon," she says.

There is no rule of when we should marry in reference to age. The bible has the only rule and it says, "it is better to marry, than to burn." So that is when we should put everything aside and marry if we can't sustain from sexual immorality.

In life, we've learned, with all our choices come sacrifices. As much as I love my Kevin, I had to sacrifice many things for our marriage. He never asked me to do so, but it's called, knowing your mate.

Because I married young, I had to do all my higher levels of education while being married. I tell you it was grueling. Studying, working and being a wife was challenging. Then, children came into the marriage, which is a whole different entity.

Because, my niece is determined to finish nursing school, in which I commend and admire her self-discipline, she has to sacrifice marriage at this time, knowing she could not fairly give to a husband what he needs.

That is an unselfish, highly considerate act and it is something to be considering before taking on such a commitment.

 

I pray that she can find a great husband someday and she can be the wife that God has instructed, and then her sacrifice will have paid off.

Consider yourself as you ask God to send you a God fearing man. Consider what you have to offer a marriage and not just a thought of, I should be married, make sure you are ready and it is indeed what you want.

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